To Be Or Not To Be

Dearest Dreamers,

It's funny....for the longest time I was too scared to find out what I wanted to do with my life and to commit to one thing. For instance, I would try many different hobbies such as drawing, learning how to play the violin and so on but was too afraid to stick to one thing and get really good at it. Too afraid to jump out of the boat and learn to swim or jump off a plane to experience the exhilaration of flying with the support of only a parachute. Where did this fear come? I don't know, but after it is put down on paper, it looks so silly.

They say that once you start calling yourself the title of what you want to be, you will eventually become that person. A few weeks ago I decided to start calling myself an Artist. I have been an artist all along but never decided to really acknowledge that part of me until now. It was so utterly frightening to me to look at an empty canvas and dare to paint a picture or to shade a page with drawing pencils in hand. Perhaps it is the perfectionist in me that was afraid that I would make a mistake and then what would I do??? Sounds so silly now...

About a year ago I met the love of my life under unique circumstances. We got into a relationship when he was fighting for his life as cancer took it's toll on his body. It's funny....because I had fear then of what the future would hold for us, but I stood up to those fears without thinking twice as we claimed healing in the name of Jesus Christ over my boyfriend's body. We decided to be fearless and have been seeing God's mighty miracles! We have learned to live our lives in victory. Victory....such a sweet word.

I asked myself, "If I could look death in the face at my boyfriend's side and raise my hands in victory without blinking an eye, why could I not overcome these silly little fears about who I really wanted to be?" Such interesting thoughts...I found some things we can't conquer alone. My sweet boyfriend was my rescue and channeled the courage I had given him back to me so that I could embrace my dreams to paint and discover the Artist that I am.

The last brush strokes have crossed the canvas and as I sit back with reflection. Interesting...I notice my perspective has changed. This painted picture no longer is a view up the mountain and how treacherous it might be, but rather the look from the top of the mountain and the clouds surrounding me and I raise my hands in victory!

Keep dreaming,

DreamGirl